Tag / poetry

by lifeafterthewolf

Dear Mother

Dear Mother,

I needed you. 

I needed to be loved.

I needed the love of a mother.

I watched as you hugged and loved my siblings.

Peeking through the cracks in the door

My heart filled with jealousy.

Always made to feel inferior.

Like an embarrassing mistake.

Always wondering why I wasn’t enough.

I was the target for your anger.

Your eyes were filled with rage.

Your hands were powered by hate.

When my feelings overpowered,

I turned to self harm.

Anything to drown the chaos in my mind.

I would hide in the closet,

Wrapped up in blankets,

& pretend they were your touch.

My nights spent crying.

Praying to God to take me.

Wondering if I’d ever be enough.

by lifeafterthewolf

I was wrong. – poem

I trusted him.

I believed that he had changed.

I thought he had our best interest in mind.

I wanted to give the best for our kids.

I was wrong.

He didn’t care, he hadn’t changed.

He knew how to manipulate my mind.

He knew I was willing to give up my life.

He knew how to hurt me.

I was wrong.

I wasn’t allowed to have feelings.

I wasn’t allowed to speak up.

I wasn’t allowed to disagree.

I wasn’t allowed to tell him anything.

I was wrong.

I always have been wrong to him.

I was wrong to jump into this move.

I have now drug my children through war.

I have lost it all again.

But I’m strong.

I can make it through this.

Our children will be okay.

But him?

I hope he one day realizes…

What he did is wrong.

(October 2017)

by lifeafterthewolf

Wrong. (2017, JR)

I trusted him.

I believed that he had changed.

I thought he had our best interest in mind.

I wanted to give the best for our kids.

I was wrong.

He didn’t care, he hadn’t changed.

He knew how to manipulate my mind.

He knew I was willing to give up my life.

He knew how to hurt me.

I was wrong.

I wasn’t allowed to have feelings.

I wasn’t allowed to speak up.

I wasn’t allowed to disagree.

I wasn’t allowed to tell him anything.

I was wrong.

I always have been wrong to him.

I was wrong to jump into this move.

I have now drug my children through war.

I have lost it all again.

But I’m strong.

I can make it through this.

Our children will be okay.

But him?

I hope he one day realizes…

What he did is wrong.

by lifeafterthewolf

The Wolf

She’s looking for affection and the sheep catches her attention.

She looks at him with her big brown eyes. 

Like a lost doe looking for direction.

He leads her down a hidden a path in his forest. 

The flowers lining the pathways make her feel at ease. 

There’s so much laughter and it makes her feel comfortable. 

But the Wolf is there. Hiding. Waiting to pounce on her vulnerability.

She trusts him. He knows this.

The sun sets into the horizon and she realizes quickly that he’s the only one around. It’s dark. Yet, she has been led to believe that he can be trusted.

The Wolf. The Wolf.

She follows him into to the forest, the walkways are no longer defined. She’s lost. 

The days fade into one another and she’s lost a sense of time. She’s lost the sense of herself.

Yet, she continues to follow blindly. As he knows how to play the part. 

But, the sheep’s clothing is unraveling. 

He’s hungry. He’s out for blood.

She’s given it all.

For the Wolf that stole her heart.